I know a writer who swears “no one will ever edit me.” On the other hand, there are writers who, without the help of an editor, would be unable to publish a single, error-free page.
For me, the editing process is both revealing and rewarding. In the case of The Good Lie, Wayne Tefs took on the editorial role, and I’m grateful he did. Wayne is the best kind of editor: an experienced novelist with a well-deserved reputation for excellence. He’s a Woodrow Wilson Fellow with a PhD. in English and years of teaching experience. His latest book, Be Wolf (a non-fiction novel), was published in May, 2007. To learn more about Wayne, click here.
I’d already written four versions of The Good Lie before Wayne began to work on the text. Together, we took the manuscript through three more versions. Later, a copy-editor and proofreader reviewed the text to eliminate lingering errors and typos.
Below you can read the email correspondence Wayne and I shared in 2007. It may surprise you to know that we’ve never spoken a word aloud to one another. Our relationship developed through email and the notes we made in various colours of ink and pencil on the manuscripts that traveled between Victoria and Winnipeg—the hard-copy proof of the changes that I made as our work progressed.
As Wayne worked on my novel, I read Moon Lake, Wayne’s remarkable story of murder and its aftermath—which won the 2000 Margaret Laurence Award. Reading his book sustained my confidence in Wayne’s literary sensibility and judgment.
An editor has to be enormously diplomatic, yet tough and accurate in making suggestions. The author, on the other hand, has to maintain complete control of the story, but seek improvements in character, plot, the finesse of language, etc. It’s a delicate balance that can easily slip out of control. The success (or failure) of the editing process ultimately falls on the professional attitude of both parties during the process—an attitude Wayne mentions in several of his email messages.
—DFB, July,
2007
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Thu,
15 Mar 2007
Hi Don (if I may): my name is Wayne Tefs and I’m the
fiction editor at Turnstone Press. Welcome.
This is an email to make contact. Please reply ASAP,
letting me know if you have received the working copy (WC)
of your MS from Turnstone: it was supposed to be mailed out
Monday. If you haven’t, reply letting me know, and then
contact Todd by phone to find out when it was (or is to be)
mailed. If you have, reply ASAP.
Thanks,
Cheers for now,
Wayne
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Mar 15, 2007
Greetings Wayne. I've been looking forward to connecting
with you, too. I spoke with Todd on Monday and he said he
would mail me the MS, my contract and a few words from you
about how you like to handle the editing process. While the
package has not yet arrived, I'm prepared to give it a few
more days. I'll let you know when it comes in -- or advise
you if I am still empty-handed this time next week.
Thanks for checking in.
Cheers, Don
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Mar 19, 2007
Hi Wayne,
MS arrived today; all is in good order. I wonder if you
have any protocols you want to follow during the editing
process (e.g. how you wish to receive the changed files; I
could easily email you chapter by chapter WORD files, or
... ).
Please let me know your thoughts on this.
Cheers, Don
PS -- If it helps, I have access to cheap long distance and
could call you around 10.00 a.m. (your time) most mornings.
Let me know if this would suit you.
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Tue,
20 Mar., 2007
Hi Don (if I may): my name is Wayne Tefs and I’m the
fiction editor at Turnstone Press. Welcome.
I read your MS, “The Good Lie” some time ago and was very
happy to have a hand in putting it on T’s list for 2007. I
like the novel very much. From the opening pages, where you
set the scene and draw us into the world of your central
character, Paul, through to the end. The event that is the
central plot element is one of the best I’ve read in quite
a few years: you set up the disaster with a good touch and
carry it forward to its conclusion so effectively that your
reader gasps for breath at points. We really feel for
Paul’s plight—and the unfortunate girl. Then there’s the
sticky ethical issue, also handled beautifully: it’s a
thought-provoking book, as well as a good read in terms of
characters, plot, and the like. Perhaps mostly because of
its moral issue. Whatever the case, the MS reads
terrifically: the pace is just about perfect: the action
moves along and the issues spin out in a most winning way.
So congratulations: you’ve written a fine book
here—gripping, compelling, thought-provoking, as they say
in the back-cover blurbs.
Our work together will involve several steps. At this point
I’ve done a close edit. My concerns are of two kinds: macro
and micro. Below I’ll address just a couple of larger
matters that you will want to think about before beginning
the revision process. In addition, I’ll mention a number of
smallish things that will require your attention as
well—minor, technical things, that are nonetheless
important. In addition to these two aspects of the edit,
you will find marginal notes on the pages of the MS itself:
queries, quibbles, reminders about consistency, typos, and
the like. These are picky little things, but attending to
them will bring your MS into line with Turnstone’s “Style,”
as well as tighten up sentences and phrasing and so on.
Before I go on, let me say this: thanks for the
exceptionally clean and readable MS. I really appreciate
the precise formatting, the dearth of typos, the
grammatical correctness of what you’ve written. It tells me
that you’re a professional. And it sure makes my job a lot
easier. Bravo!
The first larger issue is this. Following quite a number of
the breaks in the narrative, you’ve begun a new section—or
a fresh chapter—by recounting material that has occurred in
the immediate past (sort of between the last sentence in
the previous section and the opening sentence of this new
one); you’ve recurred to the past tense at these points,
and that tactic does not work as well as it might--because
almost immediately, the text reverts to the on-going
(“literary”) present tense, the forward thrust tense of the
novel, which makes it otherwise so readable. I would like
you to examine these bits—sometimes single paragraphs,
sometimes two or three paragraphs—and see if there isn’t a
way to alter these paragraphs, bring them into line with
the overall register of the narrative. (There are other
places, by the way, where entire sections are devoted to
filling in background, and these, too, are rendered in the
past tense, but they work because they are whole sections
and do indeed recur to the actual past—so, as a point of
clarity, I’m not talking about those.) The single most
obvious way to achieve the objective is to change the verb
tenses to the on-going present tense.
It may not be a major concern of yours, but the specifics
of the legal cat-and-mouse that occurs in the middle of the
book may not be accurate. You’ll need to spend some time
with a litigation lawyer to clarify—if only for your own
sense of rightness—just how the legal process unfolds in
such cases. Two things strike me as particularly requiring
clarification. Sam Watson’s statements about Paul’s lie may
well be “tainted”; even if he’s been maneuvered into the
position of non-lawyer witness by the new lawyer, his
testimony might not fly before most “judges.” Then, too,
you have Paul moved into an examination for discovery
seemingly before the Jensens have filed a suit against
him—and he has filed a countersuit against them. I believe
those suits have to be in process before the examination
that Paul is subjected to can begin. But you’ll need to
have that chat and then explain to me what you’ve found out
and how you’re going to proceed in your novel. (This is not
a big issue, and you may be disinclined to change things,
but we should have the groundwork clear, if only just so
we—you and I--know.)
At just a very few points the love-play between Paul and
Valerie becomes somewhat coy and cloying. It’s probably
just me, an old-fashioned man’s man, but I find these
passages a bit much. Maybe they can be tightened up a bit?
I’m not sure about the novel’s ending. Shifting to the past
feels warm and fuzzy and in that sense “works,” but it
troubles me a bit that the book doesn’t draw to a close in
the present tense, if you follow me. Please mull this over.
I will too. I’m uncertain. May I suggest you try writing
one or more alternate endings (sections), just to see if
there might not be a stronger way to draw to a close. Give
it a shot.
I’m also not sure about the title. “The Good Lie” is a good
title for the book in one way, but I wonder if “The Lie”
might be more effective. This leaves your reader to decide
whether or not it was a “good” lie, whether Paul has done
the ethical thing, as he thinks he has (and so do I, by the
way). Another possibility is “The Choice,” or even “Paul’s
Choice,” but that has certain resonances. But you need to
ponder this one. I’ll ruminate myself and have the folks in
the office do likewise.
On a very few occasions you tell us too much. Occasionally
you repeat stuff we already know. It’s easy to just delete
phrases and sentences that do that. On a few other
occasions you either explain things that can be left
without explanation, or fill in background that may not be
essential or useful—and may, indeed, shoot us off into a
digression that takes us away from the central concerns of
the book. I’ve marked these and queried you about them. You
need not feel that you have to “slash and burn” these. But
some attention should be paid to the matter. (Think that
what I’m suggesting is that each of these “could be”
omitted.)
A technical issue you’ll need to sort out with Todd and
Sharon Caseburg in the T office: you’ve placed certain
words in single quotation marks, others in italic, others
in double q marks. T’s Style calls for you to handle these
matters in certain ways: words used for emphasis in
italic—ditto foreign words and phrases, for instance. In
most other cases, I’d be inclined to drop single q marks
altogether. Double q for actual dialogue. Words of
remembered conversation are not placed inside punctuation,
but are to begin with a Cap. Where you have other concerns,
please check with Todd, make the necessary changes, and
write me a note to that effect. Another thing you’ll need
to check is how numbers are to be given—as numerals—or
words. (I believe T’s “style” is to use words up to 99 and
then use numbers thereafter.) This matter should be
consistent throughout the MS. One instance that sticks out
concerns times of day: “eleven o’clock,” or “11:00”?
Everyone has them and you have a few verbal “tics.” The
most obvious is the word “any.” Do a search/edit and either
delete most of these or alter them. The word “tinnitus”
(fine word) occurs half a dozen times in your novel, about
4 more times than in the 250 novels I’ve read in the past
decade combined. Perhaps “buzzing” or an alternative could
be useful as a more vernacular alternative. (You can leave
it in one or two.)
You very professionally provide the names of the drugs Paul
takes. That’s OK, good, in fact. But those polysyllabic
tongue-twisters rather get in the way at points. Maybe
after the first mention a more generic term can be used: as
“tranquilizer” or “muscle relaxant” would for, say,
Lorazipam. You’ll also need to determine if the names of
these drugs are to be rendered in Caps or not—there’s no
consistency in the MS at present.
Throughout your MS you write what are technically run-on
sentences when you use the word “then” as if it were a
conjunction. To be correct, such sentences should read: “He
closed the door in her face, and then he went to the
kitchen.” If you drop the actual conjunction (“and”), then
you should be scrupulous about placing a comma between
“then” and the previous word: you still have a run-on
sentence, but at least there’s a visual cue that the
sentence is changing direction, so to speak. Yikes, I’m
beginning to sound like my grade ten English teacher!
That reminds me of something I haven’t yet said. You’re
familiar with the editing process, but it’s always a little
painful to have things pointed out about our writing. We
can become a titch defensive about what we’ve written and
why we’ve written it that way. You know all this but it
bears repeating: if you’re a little put out by some of my
remarks—here or in the marginalia--try to see things from
my position—you have to put on your bully’s hat to be an
editor—which is that I’m in there pitching for your MS to
be as sharp and readable as possible.
As to the logistics of handling the MS from here forward.
It’s best if we refer to the marked-up hard copy as the
Working Copy (WC).
Option #1: if your Word Processing program has the
"tracking" function on the tool bar near the bottom of the
screen (it appears as "TRK" and you click on it to
initiate), you can make editorial changes easier for both
of us by making all changes using "tracking," and then send
an electronic version with the tracking changes back to us.
You can send the electronic TRK copy to me, but it’s best
to send it to the T office—they will make a hard copy for
me, which I can have in hand along with the WC, if that
seems useful. (If you take this option, you'll also have to
return the WC with my pencil notes so that I can follow the
changes.)
If you do not have the TRK function, or if you do not like
using it, then proceed to:
Option #2: for all changes, including typos and the like,
in red ink stroke out the word, or punctuation mark, or
whatever is to be altered; then also in red ink print
legibly above the line (or in the case of punctuation, over
the punctuation mark) the new word or words that are to be
added. If the change is longer than can be accommodated by
the line length, print it in the margin or on the back of
the PREVIOUS page. These procedures will facilitate our
handling of the MS. If you take Option #2 DO NOT send a
second, "clean" hard copy of the MS. (At some future time
the folks in the T office will want to see a clean hard
copy as well as an electronic one, but we'll come to that
later.)
Hope all this is clear. Have fun with the alterations. I
enjoy the revision process--and hope you do too. Let
me know how you’re progressing--our timeline calls for you
to return the MS within a month of receipt. I'll look
forward to hearing from you when you’re done.
Cheers
Wayne
PS. Right at the moment I’ve got nine MSS on the go and a
new book of my own coming out this month. So I may have
been a bit brusque in this note, a result of working under
pressure and to deadline. If so, mea
culpa.
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22
Mar, 2007
Hi Wayne,
Thanks so much for your very detailed review of my MS and
the notes you've provided (below). I'm enormously flattered
by your comments, and as I'm sure you know, such praise is
dearly appreciated when it comes from another novelist.
I'll be away from my desk for the next few days, then get
on to the task of revising. I'll also give close
consideration to the macro issues you've outlined below and
send another email to you with my thoughts about them. As
to the micro issues, I've quickly scanned your editing
marks in the MS and I'm delighted to see how many typos,
etc. you caught. I'm always embarrassed if they sneak
through the editing process, so I'm pleased you have such a
sharp eye for grammar and phrasing.
One thought before I sign off now: I'm quite fond of the
title as it stands. I like the way it captures the moral
tension in the book. It's simple and easy to remember. I
hope it will arouse readers' curiosity because of the
implied oxymoron. Furthermore, there's a very subtle pun
revealed if you let the word 'good' stand as a noun and
'lie' as a verb (a parallel example is 'the good die
young'). The pun suggests that indeed, good people do lie;
I suspect way more often than they would like to admit. The
title is also unique; I spent some time seeking other books
by the same title; there are none that I could find. On the
other hand, within 10 minutes I found 7 examples of books
entitled "The Lie."
But do talk this over withTodd and the others in the
Turnstone head office. We exchanged views earlier on this
subject and he seemed happy with The Good Lie. But hey, who
knows? — perhaps there's something better out there worth
considering. If so, let's discuss it.
In closing, let me assure you how glad I am to be at this
stage. I completely embrace the opportunity to make the
novel as good as I can and I am very pleased you are
willing to help me.
Cheers, Don
PS -- I know you've written several novels and would like
to start in on one. Do you have a favourite you would
recommend to a new fan?
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26 Mar., 2007
Hello Wayne,
I've had some time to review the edits you've made in the
MS and to give some thought to the larger issues you've
identified below. This week I'll dive into making the
revisions. Overall, I believe your insights are very sound
and I thank you for them. I've made some notes under each
of your macro comments below. Perhaps my notes are simply a
way for me to articulate my perspective on the comments,
but it may be useful for you to understand the angle I hope
to take on each one so that when you read the MS revision
you'll have a sense of what I'm trying to achieve this time
around.
Thanks for your help.
Don
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28
Mar 2007
Hi Don: hope you don’t mind me referring to your MS as “GL”
henceforth. (I once worked on a book that abbreviated to
“BS,” and the author and I both had a chuckle about that
every time we e-mailed about it.)
Thanks for your preliminary notes / responses to my
comments. I look forward to seeing the full MS soon.
At the conclusion of a recent email you wrote: “PS -- I
know you've written several novels and would like to start
in on one. Do you have a favourite you would recommend to a
new fan?” Moon Lake, which came out in 2000 received the
Margaret Laurence Prize for Fiction. Good reading.
Hope this finds you and yours happy and healthy,
Cheers for now,
Wayne
PS:
I like your website.
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2 April, 2007
Hi Wayne,
GL works very well for me. I've been editing quite
diligently and should get a good whack at it this weekend.
(I'm taking a few extra days off and combining it with the
traditional 4-day Easter slow-down.)
I found Moon Lake in the UVic library, along with five of
its siblings. You may be pleased to know that they've been
placed in an excellent location. If the library were a real
estate market (an obsession here) your book would command
top price for location alone: third floor with one of the
few window views overlooking the campus.
Enough nonsense. I love the opening. I'm about 20 pages
into it and completely hooked. The building sense of dread
is terrific. Gathering these well-drawn characters into one
location also creates a powerful tension -- like a massive
bear trap being pulled back and the spring locking into
place.
Well done.
Cheers, Don
PS -- No response yet from Todd about the house style guide
for numerals / time. I've marked the various places this
occurs and will go back later when I've heard from him.
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3
Apr., 2007
Hi Don: nice to hear from you. I did read your brief notes
of a few days ago but have been finishing up other MSS and
have been quite preoccupied. In any case, your responses
seemed appropriate. I’m looking forward to the MS and
should be able to turn it around quite quickly once I
receive it.
Thanks for your comments about Moon Lake. It was a fairly
ambitious book for me, as you’ll probably see. But I
thoroughly enjoyed writing it, and the response has been
gratifying.
Here’s what I was able to dig up re: Turnstone’s style
guide (based on the Chicago Style Manual?) I believe this
is current, but if you go with it and it isn’t, no problem:
the copy editor will make the required changes at that
stage. (Couldn’t locate stuff on times—which is odd.)
--For numbers, spell out one to one hundred and use numbers
after that, except in cases of percent (use 4%),
temperature, etc. Also in cases of money where dollars and
cents are included: $4.50, not four dollars and fifty
cents. When amounts are being compared, and one number
includes dollars and cents, the two numbers should be
numerical—e.g. ‘the amounts were $12.00, $12.50, and
$13.00.” The same applies to comparisons or lists of any
numbers: if any of them are to be indicated numerically,
they all should be: e.g. ‘the acreages were 176, 20, and
35.’ Or, ‘of the last 150 years, 14 were dry and 110 were
wet.’
--No comma in four-digit numbers (4000 not 4,000). Use
commas, not spaces, in numbers over 5 digits (10,000, not
10 000).
Cheers for now,
Wayne
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22 April, 2007
Hi Wayne,
Today I sent Todd the revised MS as attachments in 4
separate emails to him. The files all employ the "tracking"
function. I also sent him the front pages, which include
Acknowledgement and Forward pages that are new -- so I'd
appreciate it if you'd look at them, too. I mailed the
working copy of the MS (that you edited) to your attention
at Turnstone. It should be there soon, so if you don't have
it in hand by Friday let me know and I'll check with Canada
Post.
Overall, I'm pretty pleased with the revision and I want to
thank you for editing the text so carefully and giving such
careful consideration to the macro issues. The last chapter
(16) has some major changes, so I printed out the new copy
of that chapter and included it with the working copy
thinking that it might help to guide you. The concluding
section of the working copy has been cut and pasted into
the updated chapter 15. I'm sure you'll be able to sort
this out. Please let me know if you think the changes
provide a better finale.
Like you, I couldn't find any reference to the use of
digits to denote time in the style guide, so I decided to
employ digital throughout. I've switched all the
inappropriate past tense sections to present tense and
excised my nervous tics ("any") wherever they seemed to
intrude (which was often....). You'll see that I've decided
to let some sections of text flow without inserting the
suggested commas (I denote this with "Stet." so you know I
didn't miss them). In some of these cases, the comma would
create a pause where I'd rather have the phrasing flow
uninterrupted.
I've also addressed some of the legal issues. You'll see
Watson is now an accountant. Paul and Valerie also try to
contact Ben Stillwell about Reg Jensen's aggressive
behaviour -- although their request to Ben falls through
the cracks. Two lawyers have had a look at the discovery
for examination scene and given it their approval. Since
most personal injury cases like this take several years to
resolve, I've mentioned this fact in the Acknowledgment
section.
I've toned down some of the perhaps-too-sweet dialogue
between P + V. Again, let me know if you think it's still
too high calorie. I want them to inhabit in a love bubble
(their only respite from the chaos growing around them) but
perhaps it appears more like a balloon.
I think that covers most of the issues under consideration
for the current round. If you have time, I'd appreciate it
if you would advise me how you see the editing process
moving from here to conclusion. This will help me identify
when I'll need to reserve time for additional revisions and
proofing in the months ahead.
I've really enjoyed Moon Lake over the past few weeks. The
action has moved to the city and now back to the lake as
the characters begin to search for Cassie. The characters
are so well drawn and converging/conflicting around all the
differences that distinguish them. The setting is rendered
so well -- so viscerally. Every time the mosquitoes buzz
through the air, I'm ready to swat them off my ears. Also,
at this point (3/4 through), I have no sense where the book
will go. The anticipation is thick and fast.
All for now. First bar-b-que of the year tonight, so I have
to dust off my grill.
Cheers, Don
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23
Apr 2007
Hello again Don: I’ll be waiting to see what you’ve done.
It all sounds fine and good.
I’ll try to give you an idea how the editing will proceed,
but what I say is in the light of the fact that I usually
am ushering through 5-7 MSS at one time, reading others for
acquisition, and working on my own stuff. (So any one MS
kind of gets caught up in the ebb and flow of my reading.)
Also publishing tends to be a “cataclysmic” business,
nothing happens for months, then there’s a sudden urgency.
I hate this aspect of it, but it’s out of my control, and I
try to minimize it wherever I can. All that being said, I
should turn your MS around fairly quickly—probably within a
week of receiving it, and provided that’s before 5 May (we
leave for France on the 13th to cycle some of le
Tour), it should be back in your hands speedily thereafter.
(End of May, say.) Unless there are then things we need to
untangle, you and I should be done. At that point the MS
passes out of my hands (and control), so I can only assume
the time-line thereafter: it will include a copy-edit
(where a fresh set of eyes will check for typos, and want
you to change those run-on sentences); that should take
about 4-6 weeks, depending on how quickly you turn the MS
around at your end. Then the MS goes into Production, and
you’ll have to check with the super-competent Sharon
Caseburg in the T office about that. Does this help?
By the way, I confess I did not see the double meaning in
THE GOOD LIE, and I really like it now that I do. But
here’s the issue: I’m a really canny reader, and if I
missed it . . . May I suggest you either find a literary
quotation containing a phrase like (“of course bad people
lie, but we know that sometimes the good lie too”), or
barring that, put such words into the mouth of one of your
characters, and then use them as an epigraph, so thickos
like me understand from the beginning???
Well, we’ll be in touch soon.
I’m very happy you’re enjoying Moon Lake. Your kind words
lift my spirits on a spring morning. I don’t know if you
think this, but sometimes when I put down a novel like
Saturday, by Graham Swift, I think “Why am I even
bothering?” I know why, of course, but when a
perceptive reader like Don Bailey offers encouraging
comments, we feel a little surge of the energy required to
go on in this lonely and ambiguous undertaking (horrible
pun). So ringgrazie, as the Italians say.
Enjoy the grilled meats! (And, I assume, the accompanying
vino tinto.)
Cheers,
Wayne
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23 April, 2007
Hello Wayne,
Thanks for clarifying the Turnstone editorial schedule.
This looks like it will be much easier for me than for you.
I'm not sure I could juggle so many manuscripts at once --
and try to find headway with my own work. More power to
you.
The double meaning in the title is perhaps so subtle many
would deny it exists. So, I'm very grateful for your
suggestion to seek out a usable quote for an epigraph. The
phrase you suggest could well be spoken by our lawyer, Ben
Stillwell. I'll have to give it some thought. Meanwhile,
I've found these two close approximations. Let me know what
you think:
Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically--for
our mutual good.
-Quentin Crisp, Manners from Heaven
Does evil so react upon good, as not only to retard its
motion, but to change its nature? If it can so operate,
then good men will always be in the power of the bad; and
virtue, by a dreadful reverse of order, must lie….
-Edmund Burke, Principles in Politics
Like you, I've read so many very good books. I went through
a period (before writing this new book) of self-defeating
literary rebellion -- it was way more than writer’s block
-- a period in which I made point of refusing to read or
write any fiction whatsoever. Then, I started to write
again for the basic pleasure of creating a small scene with
one or two characters. Once I got rolling, nothing else
mattered. I didn't think about Dostoevsky, Steinbeck or
Hemingway -- all my old heros. I have some hope this sense
of self-satisfaction will carry me forward. I'm happy to
read all the others now (including you!) and know I feel
good just to get the occasional phrase of my own working
properly.
I am very envious about your pending Tour. I doubt I would
stay up-right on a bike for long, but I would make an
acceptable patron of the cafes and bars. Does this require
sitting up-right for extended periods?
I'll send another note along when I reach the end of Moon
Lake.
Cheers, Don
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6 May, 2007
Hi Wayne,
Busy week here -- which included a funeral and a houseful
of distant relatives staying with us for 3-4 days.
Despite the distractions, I managed to finish up Moon Lake.
Wow -- what a terrific read. I was most impressed (as I've
mentioned before) by the strength of your writing when it
is focused on the natural setting around the lake itself.
What a pleasure to see the last page is dedicated to this
dynamic, one which captures the timeless feeling most
Canadians experience in the wilderness. Thinking about all
that, I wanted to tell you that I cannot recall any
Canadian prose that expresses this very strong sensibility
-- the mystery that crosses from nature into our own
consciousness -- so well.
The rendering of natural atmosphere combined with the
characters who are so carefully drawn, the plot line
driving everyone forward, the yearning they all have to
make sense of existence and circumstance -- all of it made
for a very compelling read. Well done.
Do forgive this rather clumsy appraisal, but I wanted to
get this off to you before your trip to France. Enjoy the
break.
Cheers, Don
PS - By the way, the book made me wonder about writing some
experimental prose, a sort of narrative without characters
that might follow the unraveling of a season, or something
like that. The closest I can point to as an example would
be John Dos Passo's mid 1930s (or 40s?) novel Manhattan
Transfer. He used what he called a camera eye to capture in
prose the urbanscape of the big smoke.
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10
May, 2007
Hi Don: hope this finds you in a spring mood—“puckish’?
Thanks for your recent comments about Moon Lake. In the
past week I’ve received three upbeat emails about my
books—two already on my most recent, BE WOLF, released just
two weeks ago. So I’m feeling a little chuffed. BE WOLF is
also about the terrain you mention in your note: set near
Thompson, it’s a “docu-fiction,” or non-fiction novel about
an amazing survival experience in the “Great White North.”
And, yes, Manhattan Transfer is a tantalising prototype (or
perhaps model). If you’re tempted, give it a shot, would be
my advice. All you’d really lose is a few days of
writing—you’d know pretty early on, I’d suspect, whether
what you’re doing would work for others. And I think the
writing itself would be a lot of fun. So at the very least
it would a journey rather than destination experience. And
a good one, too, I’d guess.
I’ve gone through the MSS. You’ve done a terrific job of
the changes. Thanks for attending to them so particularly
and in such an accommodating manner. A testament to your
professionalism. As is the fact that you made several
unsolicited alterations that strengthen the narrative.
All of your major changes work beautifully. And the
conclusion is lovely—just the thing.
There are still a few quibbles in the margins, places where
I’ve recurred to a matter that was not clear to you
earlier, and the like. You’ll find my comments on the TRK
copy in blue ink--usually, where there is space, in the
right-hand margin. It will take you only minutes to attend
to these.
Several things that require lengthier commentary.
1. I’ve written “OK” (and “OK but C-E”) in places where
you’ve written “stet” in the margin. This means “OK, I’m
not going to argue with you, but the copy-editor may, and
you’ll have to pursue your case with her in the next
phase.”
2. There are a couple of formatting issues (just previous
to p. 66, for instance). They probably arise from your
computer “talking” to Todd’s ineffectively, especially in
the printing process—where yet a third “mind” is at work,
the printer’s. In the next phase you’ll need to submit to
Todd an electronic version that is all one file (or “doc”);
these issues often arise from multiple “docs.” But Todd
will go through that with you.
3. My apologies for short-temper, which occurs obviously on
p.169, but may creep in at other points. Going through 2 MS
simultaneously is a real mind-fuck (pardon); pages are
being flipped and put down and recurred to and “where the
hell is that paragraph in this new version,” etc. It can
become too much sometimes. I actually developed an “instant
headache” over pp. 166ff; pages got misplaced and it took
me twenty minutes of infuriating flipping around to
untangle matters.
4. Though I insisted on those dingbats between breaks in
the text, Sharon will probably take them out as she does
the interior design. I insisted just so it was clear to me
where they occurred—one of my little hobby-horses.
As to logistics. We’re returning both the WC and the TRK
copy at this point. Please make any changes on this
go-round clearly in the left-hand margin in a color of ink
not blue (so there’s no confusion). If you need
to—quibble--but keep that in the left-hand margin too.
Transpose those changes onto the electronic copy. (Please
be especially mindful of those instances where there’s a
fresh break in the text (indicated by “*”)—some of these
are now squeezed into the middle of paragraphs and
difficult to see. Return the TRK copy to the T office asap.
I’ll be back from France 4 June and will turn to your MS
shortly thereafter. Then it will move into the copy edit
and then Production.
Well, once again, a fine novel, Don, a terrific read. I
still find myself mulling over the moral dilemma at its
center, and your clever handling of it. It would make, in
my view, a wonderful book for high school students, since
it’s partly about one of their own and also presents this
troubling moral dilemma: good students love debating such
issues, in my experience. (I was the Head of English at St
Johns-Ravenscourt School here for 15 years and one of my
favorite canards was, “If you knew you would get away with
it, no consequences, would you steal a million dollars?)
I hope the book will do well for you and Turnstone.
It’s deserved.
Hope this finds you and yours happy and healthy.
Cheers for now,
Wayne
PS: I’m sending you this note from home and the MS has yet
to be picked up and delivered to the T office, from whence
it will be mailed to you. That may take some time—weeks, if
Todd is out of town at a sales conference, or whatever.
Call the office after a week or ten days, if you’re growing
anxious. They can bring you up to date on its status. Ooh,
time for a cover and all that exciting stuff! Next, in my
experience, come the heebie-jeebies.
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5 June 2007
Hi Wayne,
I hope you had a good tour and that your return inspires a
puckish renewal. (I'm pleased you enjoy this bit of
silliness -- it's one of those expressions that came out of
nowhere, but I do like the homage to Shakespeare's Puck.)
You may not yet have been around to T's office to pick up
the MS and have another look at the text, but when you do,
you'll see I've made a few modifications here and there.
I've come around to inserting more commas and am at the
point where I doubt some grammatical elements and sometimes
whole lines of phrasing. Structurally, I wonder a tad about
excising the drug-induced psychosis Paul experiences during
his fantasy-call with Woodford in which he confesses his
crime. This is typical of me during this phase leading up
to the proofing....
Great news about BE WOLF. The premise and situation sound
ideal for you. I'll try to pick up a copy this summer from
T.
All the best -- and thanks so much for your help with the
book.
Cheers, Don
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10
June, 2007
Hello Don:
I have here beside me your MS—the TRK copy with your
changes/revisions in red ink and my previous editorial
notes in blue ink. Good.
As you are aware, I’ve just returned from three weeks in
France and have only today shaken off the effects of
jet-lag, which seem to be more serious each year that
passes. In any case, I’ll probably be turning to your MS
shortly—I have three that are at the same stage as yours
and I’ll need to co-ordinate my activities with Todd’s
plans regarding the fall schedule. I have the feeling yours
will be first in line. I’ll be in contact with you soon (by
month’s end) to let you know how things progress. You seem
to have done a thorough job of the revisions: thanks for
attending to everything promptly and
professionally.
I know what you mean about those almost-final changes. The
heebie-jeebies set in for everyone at this point. I’ll read
the passage about the drug-induced moment with Woodford on
the phone carefully this time through. I had no difficulty
with it per se on previous readings—only that I was unaware
the first time through that it was a “fantasy” episode, so
as long as that is cued well for the reader, I don’t think
there’s anything to be concerned about. But as I say, I’ll
give it close scrutiny.
Talk to you soon,
Cheers,
Wayne
PS: if I’ve neglected to address something you raised in
emails to Todd or me, that’s because I’m still a bit
blurry. My thinking will come around soon.
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10 June, 2007
Welcome home, Wayne.
I do appreciate your comments about the jet-lag. The days I
journey up-island to Tofino tend to wipe me out. The big
trips like yours -- especially flying west -- are simply
bone-numbing.
Good to hear you have the recent revision to the novel at
hand. Also good hear that you may be able to get to it
before your other editing projects. I'll be taking off the
week of June 25 - 29 and was hoping to dedicate some time
then to finalizing the text. The following week I'll be in
Alberta, and for much of July juggling my time while I try
to move my father-in-law into a retirement home (which is
much more complicated than it sounds).
Yes, please have a second glance at the fantasy phone call.
You are right: my main concern is that the reader is cued
to what's going on. Excising it would be nearly impossible,
since this thread follows through several other scenes.
Heebie-jeebies is a good old-fashioned bit of jargon that
well describes my current literary anxieties. After nursing
the novel along for so long, now it's time to let it go,
and allow others to steer its destiny. It's a sad, but
necessary, individuation.
As a salve for this post-partum mood, I'm going to be
working a little more on the web site for the book
(thegoodlie.com). A few messages earlier you remarked that
the book might do well in some high schools. I used to
teach high school English, and I think there may be some
opportunity there, too. I'm hoping the web site might
interest English teachers because it will be a repository
of so many elements that go into writing, editing,
publishing, marketing, etc. With this idea in mind, I have
a favour to ask: would you be willing to let me add our
correspondence to the site? I've found the editing process
to be really stimulating and I know you've done a lot to
improve the book over the past few months. I suspect others
would be interested in the ideas we've been trading during
the process. If you agree, I'd be happy to send you any of
your text and let you edit it prior to "going live." By the
way, I would be completely happy with your decision NOT to
pursue this, so rest assured, you can say "no" to this
rather awkward, after-the-fact request of mine. Do let me
know your thoughts on this....
Finally, let me say how pleased I was to see you'll be
reading Be Wolf this Wednesday. I hope you enjoy many more
readings in the months and years ahead. Carpe diem.
Cheers, Don
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14
Jun 2007
Hello Don: to accommodate your schedule, I’ve found some
time in my own and had a read-through of the MS, with your
latest changes.
First, and to get this matter out of the way, I have no
difficulty with your proposal regarding our exchanges about
the MS being used for educational purposes. They would make
good material for a writing class. Go ahead, tinker with
our exchanges, then send me what seems to be a good draft;
I’ll have a look at it and we’ll go on from there. (Great
idea, by the way.)
As to the MS itself, thank you for attending so thoroughly
and professionally to my quibbles and queries. I appreciate
your attention to detail and your accommodating approach.
Also, I note the many tiny changes (tweakings) that you’ve
made unprompted, and they tell me again that you care about
the craft of writing as much as the putting down of a
narrative, writing a “crackling good yarn.” Several of the
little variations you’ve made tell me that you would make a
good editor; though perhaps you may not have the
temperament for it—you have to be a bit of a bastard!
In any case, you’ll note my final comments in green ink on
and in the right margin of the TRK copy. Some of these
merely draw attention to very small matters that were
missed before, or attempt to clarify what I was getting at
in an earlier round. I leave it to your good judgment to
make the alterations that suit you best.
There are only two larger matters to address.
1. Regarding the “psychotic episode”: I’ve attempted to
give a bit of direction as to how P’s state of mind might
be cued to the reader. Just after this you’ll find what I
wrote on the TRK copy, which you’ll be receiving shortly.
What I wrote was totally off the top of my head, so you’ll
probably do better than what’s there, but the idea was to
give you a ballpark sense of what might work. Near the top
of p. 96, following “. . .accident itself” and preceding
“and moments later. . .” To cue the fantasy episode, insert
something like: “Paul wanders around the room abstractedly
for a few minutes—or is it more?—he has difficulty focusing
and experiences that feeling of unreality that comes over
the mind under high stress. At one point he’s not sure if
he left the [water running in the kitchen sink—or
whatever]. He’s momentarily lost in a kind of psychic No
Man’s Land. He finds himself holding the telephone receiver
in one hand, but is unsure how it came to be there. He
looks at it blankly and moments later . .”
2. The whole business with Chester is touching and moving.
You’ve handled it very well. I think the ante here could be
increased in the finale, where Paul and Eliot are sitting
in a locale much like that which Paul and Chester
frequented if you were to recur somehow to the “tragedy” of
Chester. This seemed in my current reading to be something
that could make the finale “sing,” so to speak, but I
recognize that getting the words right will be a matter of
great delicacy, as what’s required is subtlety and nuance,
and they may be difficult to manage (to juggle into what is
now a lovely compact closure). If you think the idea is NOT
worth pursuing, that’s totally fine with me: the closure
works beautifully as is. If you think the idea is worth
pursuing, try a few versions—play with it, as you say—and
maybe something stunning will occur.
For now, I’m contacting Todd pronto to have the MS sent
over to the office and then on to you, so you can best use
your little break in time to attend to it. Don’t be alarmed
if some time elapses between the receipt of this email and
the arrival of the MS. But if you don’t have it in your
hands by, say, the 20th, call Todd and pester him—he
sometimes is so buried under stuff you have to “get in his
face.”
Cheers,
Wayne
PS: photos of some fool on a bicycle in France.
PPS: do you know John Gould? Also a brilliant writer living
in Victoria. What is it about the place—sea air?—that
nurtures such lovely writing and cooperative writers?
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24
June 2007
Hi Wayne,
Thanks for your note (and the pix of you on the cycling
Tour!).
I've patched together our email correspondence for the web
site-see the attached file, DonWayne.doc. At the top of the
file, I've written a brief introduction and then arranged
the email sequence in chronological order. As much as
possible I'd like to let the text stand as we wrote it. On
the other hand, feel free to amend it as you see fit. I'll
also make links to Be Wolf and Moon Lake (the two books
referred to in our dialogue). If you have web links that
you'd like me to add that provide your biography, profile,
or whatever, send them to me too, and I'll put them up.
Finally, may I use one of the pix of you on your bicycle? I
think it would be a nice touch.
I rec'd the latest TRK Copy on Friday and have quickly run
through the MS again. Your commentary is valuable overall -
I will tweak the set-up for the fantasy telephone call in
some new way. I'll have to think more about the final scene
and a reminiscence about Chester. Perhaps a word about the
dog from Eliot might inspire a brief inner monologue from
Paul....
Once the revision is completed, I'll make a digital copy
and "Accept" all the TRK changes in WORD and send the
entire novel in one file to Todd. Please let me know if
this is NOT Turnstone's preferred way to proceed.
Cheers, Don
PS -- While I
don't know John Gould personally, I'm aware of his writing
and the acclaim that has come his way. The Pacific air?
Indeed, it is inspirational....
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25
Jun 2007
Hello again Don: whew, the days and weeks fly by. Here we
are officially in summer—and the tornado season on the
prairies--and it seemed we were struggling through winter
only days ago.
I’ve just read through our correspondence on THE GOOD LIE.
I’m actually quite pleased to take it all in again and note
myself the ebb and flow of our responses to each other’s
comments. It’s a good document and could make a very useful
educational tool. Clever of you to think of it.
I’ll be waiting to see your final changes on the MS. We’ll
probably both be relieved (and excited) to see it moving
into Production and the capable hands of Sharon Caseburg,
who will find a copy editor and herself take over design
matters: it’s with her that over the next period of time
you’ll be talking about such matters as the cover and fonts
and so on. She’s terrific and you’ll find her very easy to
work with.
It sounds to me as if your proposed way of handling the
electronic version is just the thing. I’ll forward your
note to the Turnstone office and let them respond if there
is any issue.
On the matter of bios, etc. I don’t have a website: I’ve
been meaning to for about five years but never quite get
around to it. There’s a brief bio of me on the Turnstone
website if one clicks on the title of my most recent book.
I’ll attach more lengthy versions to this note—tinker as
you wish. I’ll also attach the photo of me climbing a col
that I recently sent you as well as another, so you can
choose. By the way, I haven’t yet run the idea of the
“publication” of our correspondence by the folks in the
office. I’m sure it will be fine, but at the very least
they should be informed and possibly need to approve of
this step. I’ll attend to that anon.
Cheers for now,
Wayne
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25 June, 2007
Hi Wayne,
Thanks for getting back to me so promptly. I quite enjoy
the ebb and flow in the correspondence, too. Thanks for
mentioningTurnstone's interest in our work -- please do
mention it to them and let me know the outcome. My
intention is that the web site will provide the stories
behind the novel and become an archive of information
supporting the book (and its sales).
Thanks for sending along your bio. I'd like to use all the
info in the file you sent, and put it up on the web site
sometime in July. Once I have it up, I'll send you the
link, then you can go through it completely to ensure you
are happy with it. Then let me know of any changes you want
to implement. Please be assured, I don't want a word out of
place that concerns you, so don't feel you can't change the
text -- quite the opposite! Let me know if this plan works
for you.
I'm about to start the pending changes to the MS and will
forward a single file with all "accepted" changes to the
novel to Todd. I'll also return the latest version of the
TRK-MS using black ink for my notations. Hopefully, that
will take us somewhere close to the end of the revision
process. We shall see....
Sharon has already been in touch with me about the cover,
etc. I sent her an image of the Vancouver Island seascape
-- in the fog -- with a lighthouse in the background.
Hopefully she can use it.
All for now.
Cheers, Don
PS -- Good luck dodging those tornados. The clips I saw on
the tube made the prairie look like a dangerous place. Big
sky, indeed.
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29 June, 2007
Greetings Wayne,
As you know from my last message to Todd and Sharon, I've
had another cut at the MS. I included you in the message to
them because I thought I might be easier for you to check
my key concerns on the screen using the attachment I sent
along. The two items are the intro to the fantasy telephone
call (check p. 99) and the last page, where I added one
sentence referencing Chester.
If you'd rather check this on hard copy, then have a look
at our TRK—MS which should be in the T office next week. In
this case, the fantasy call is set up between pp 95 - 96.
I've also gone through the entire text using the WORD spell
checker and grammar checker. The grammar checker is often
inaccurate, and it can be unreliable (flagging some stuff
in one paragraph, but missing parallel phrasing elsewhere)
but overall, it highlighted a few errors which I've
corrected. You'll see all the changes I've made are in
black ink in the TRK version.
Do let me know your thoughts about the latest revisions. It
feels like I'm very close to the end—which is rather sad
since I've enjoyed working on this book so much.
All the best.
Cheers, Don
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Thu,
12 July, 2007
Hello Don: I’ve had a look through certain things in
the e-copy of your MS. Thanks, by the way, for making the
changes in accordance with the spirit of the text and for
explaining those changes: I appreciate the consultative
aspect of that tactic.
Just to address the two items you do in your last note:
Very good change to p. 99, just the thing, except that in
the P beginning “Paul sighs . . .” there’s a “your” missing
from “losing your mind.”
Yes, and I like the sentence you’ve added to the finale
about Chester.
Well, Don, we draw toward a close. It’s been a real
pleasure working with you. I’ve appreciated your
professional attitude and your stick-to-it-tiveness when it
came to matters of diction and syntax you really wished to
retain. It’s always nice to butt heads with an intelligent
and articulate user of our common tongue. I hope the book
does well for both you and Turnstone. It deserves a wide
audience.
In case you’re wondering, the MS now goes into the hands of
our Production manager, competent and pleasant Sharon
Caseburg, who will usher it through the type-setting and
proof stages. She will also be in contact with you
regarding cover copy, design, and other like matters that
go into the “book” per se.
If there’s anything that concerns you, now or in the
future, please don’t hesitate to contact me.
For now, then,
Cheers,
Wayne
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15 July, 2007
Hi Wayne,
Thanks for your note and the comments about the last
outstanding editing issues. Writing a finale requires such
a delicate touch and I do appreciate the attention you've
paid to the conclusion -- from your first message onwards.
I'll make a note about the missing "your" on p. 99 and
enter the change on the last go-round (coming soon, I
assume).
Do let me know if you ever get out this way. It would be a
pleasure to get together for an evening.
Thanks for all your help.
Cheers, Don
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Tue,
17 July, 2007
Hi again Don: it was a great pleasure from my side too. I
mean this sincerely. (I must tell you about a gigantic
snarl I got (ouch!) into with a Van writer you may know
of—so bad, we had to cancel the book—so things don’t always
go smoothly!!)
In any case, we visit Van from time to time—have very good
friends there—and maybe one day Victoria will be on the
itinerary. Or perhaps you’ll be in the ‘Peg.
For now, many thanks, many blessings (it’s Sunday), and all
the best to you and yours,
Wayne